Friday, October 14, 2011

Back at it. some people, I've had every intention to keep up with this blog and have failed miserably! It has been since JANUARY that I've posted..YIKES.

I am an extrovert, so it is helpful for me to process things by expressing myself. This makes blogging helpful for me, and hopefully through the journey God takes me through some of my thoughts are helpful to you too :)

So now I'm back at it.

To try and fill you all in on what God has done in my life since January would require me to write a novel haha. So I will just post an update of where I'm at now.

As I had written in January, there were many changes that were possibly to come. Well, those changes have come. Mike is a full time staff intern with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship at Grand Valley State University, so we have relocated to Grand Rapids, MI. I have joined volunteer staff for the semester with him and am leading and training the worship team as well as mentoring 5 girls. I am also finishing up my last semester of classes for my Masters degree in Occupational Therapy, and then I will head off to two different full time internships from January-June.

This transitions has caused me to come face to face with a lot of the insecurities that I've been able to push under the rug for a while now. It has been humbling, painful at times, and refining. But seriously, God is molding me into who He created me to be so I truly see this season of my life as beautiful--even though it sure doesn't feel that way some days.

As the title of my blog says, "Identified", that is exactly what God is continuing to teach me but more intensely. God is teaching me that I am identified as a princess, not a pauper; that I am unique, not someone that needs to duplicate someone else; that I can depend on my God that is constant, not my emotions.

I'm going to keep this short and sweet for now. More will be unraveled as time goes on. But my hope is that as I continue to seek and find my identity in Christ, you too would find yourself discovering how God sees you and who He made you to be.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Turn My Eyes

My Christmas Break is ending and the New Year is beginning.

This year has a new theme for me. Turn your eyes to Jesus. Now that may sound a little odd, like, wasn't that what you were or should have been doing all along? Ha. Well I wish it was what I did more often...but now it has gone to a deeper level for me.

As I look at the different heart issues, changes, and inevitable trials that will come this year I want to turn my eyes to Jesus each morning to start my day.

Heart Issues
So as my church says...if you have a pulse, you have issues. There are areas of my life that I need healing in, such as how I see myself and my struggle with comparing myself to others. With a combination of having Words of Affirmation for my main love language (check out 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman) and comparing myself to others, I can often find myself desiring to do things to GET those words of affirmation. I want all I do to be done for Christ alone though. I want to be satisfied in just knowing that Christ is pleased with me. When I feel unappreciated or bring myself down due to a lack of words of affirmation, I want to TURN MY EYES TO JESUS. I heard a sermon recently by John Piper that said, "Do you feel more loved when Christ makes much of you or when he allows you to make much of him?" That hit me so much...I want all that I do to make much of him even if I don't get any credit for it because it is Christ who works in me to do anything good.

There are some certain and potential changes that I know of this year that will put me in a position to turn me eyes to Jesus. I am starting a new fieldwork placement (similar to an internship for 10 hrs a week) at a nursing facility and unfortunately I'm not really looking forward to it. I have never done Occupational Therapy type of treatment with older adults before so I will need to TURN MY EYES TO JESUS every morning for wisdom and strength to do things I don't feel confident in.
A potential change this year is that Mike and I might be moving (when and where will be TBD). Mike has applied to join Intervarsity Staff on a college campus (which is the campus ministry we have been involved in all of college). We are looking at colleges in the West Michigan region so I would commute to campus 2-3 days a week next semester and then my last semester of college is a full time internship so I would choose a location in the city we are placed. This is REALLY exciting but is also going to be a transition that may have its ups and downs as we say bye to things we know and love and I will need to TURN MY EYES TO JESUS--catching onto the theme? :)

Inevitable Trials
Another issue of mine is that I often depend on my own strength to do something, when God readily offers His strength (which is FAR more than mine) to do anything we need to do that day. When trials come--and they do...I need to TURN MY EYES TO JESUS...He has all that I need whether I'm in a trial or having the best day of my life.

I'm excited for this year and all that God has in store! I don't know all that it will bring but I DO know that I will be needing to turn my eyes to Jesus daily.