Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Human

There is something that I'm seeing in my generation. Something great, but something that I also feel like can be used as a cover up.

Save the trees.
Rescue the slaves.
End sex/human trafficking.
Help the poor.
World peace.
Be accepting of everyone.

I am definitely for those things, and am involved with some things to intentionally make a difference. BUT...yes there is a BUT...what I see that is lacking is focusing on an individual. (Disclaimer: I am identifying myself as having this issue too)

It's easier to be for humanity than for the human.

What I see happening is that so many people in this generation are doing something for humanity and patting themselves on the back for it (which once again, I really do appreciate and value) BUT then we give the finger to the guy who cuts us off in traffic...or we disrespect our parents...or we gossip about the coworker/classmate that we can't stand...or we trash talk the person who has an opposing view than us. Why is it that we can feel so good about ourselves for serving a meal to the poor, raising money to end human trafficking, and advocating for a minority group but than when it comes to the individuals in our life we can quickly walk past their needs or walk all over their dignity.

We talk about how we should "love the least of these" as if they have to be far off somewhere...or that it's an event. AN EVENT. An event can't replace our daily command to "love the least of these" or to "love your neighbor as yourself."

I believe loving the human is the beginning to being able to reach humanity. Let's not be known as a generation that just seeks to serve and love humanity, but one that does so for the human----the neighbor, the mom or dad, the sibling, the coworker, the classmate, the stranger, the waitress, the cashier, the customer service representative, the enemy. Who are you going to be intentional about serving and loving today?

Monday, April 16, 2012

Let the winds blow.

Awake, O north wind, and come, O south! blow upon my garden, that its spices may flow out.  Let My beloved come to His garden and eat its pleasant fruits Song of Songs 4:16

When reading Song of Songs, there can be a deeper understanding of intimacy. Some read it as physical intimacy, but it can be seen as spiritual intimacy as well. The first four chapters of Song of Songs focuses on the Bride of Christ's journey towards understanding and enjoying her inheritance in Christ. These chapters emphasize how God views and desires  her.

Here is an explanation I found regarding Song of Songs 4:16 that I really liked (

A. The Bride now has enough confidence in God's goodness to offer a 2 fold prayer. She prays for both the north winds of adversity and the south winds of blessing. She knew that both played a strategic role in her becoming a fragrant garden for God's pleasure.
B. Awake, O north wind – this speaks of the bitter cold wind of testing and difficulty. This prayer is answered in Song 5:3-7 as she goes through what I call “the ultimate 2-fold test”.
C. Come, O south wind – her second prayer is that Jesus send the refreshing winds of blessing to mature her. Only God has the wisdom to know the right combination of the north and the south winds that are necessary in each season of our life. Only God knows our makeup and destiny.
D. Blow upon my garden – she wants the garden of her heart and ministry to be deeply affected. Deep pockets of our unperceived pride, ambition, and anger, etc. are uncovered to us as we work under difficult circumstances. That its spices may flow out – she desires to be filled with God's 
fragrant Presence. In other words, she wants to grow in love. 
E. Let my Beloved come to His garden – is the transition from her garden to His garden. She desires to be totally God’s. She wants an anointing of consecration. She sees her life and ministry as "His" garden instead of hers. Jesus has an inheritance in the church (Eph. 1:18). This is the turning point in the Song. For the first 4 chapters it was her inheritance, from now on it is His. Let my Beloved eat its pleasant fruits – that Jesus might enjoy what the Spirit has worked in her.

Jesus has really been bringing my heart to this place of singing "whatever's in front of me, I'll sing hallelujah". I just want Jesus to have it all. He deserves it all. 

Thursday, April 5, 2012


Facebook withdrawals. Yes, they exist...and yes I realize that is pathetic.

I have gone off facebook for 3 days now, and I have been SO tempted to get on and use it. I will admit, I have gotten on a few times because I'm planning a baby shower, but that's all I've done on there. How ridiculous is it that I am tempted to stay on longer and scan through people's lives?

But yeah, there's my honesty with you all as I push through this need to be involved in everyone's lives in order to feel valued and significant.

On a side note, I am currently interning at Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services. I am just in my first week there, and I have already met so many fascinating and interesting people. They are dealing with schizophrenia, bipolar, major depression, mood disorders, and all sorts of psychotic disorders. AND...a lot of them are dealing with withdrawals. It's so easy to turn to something of this world as an escape..and I know that to be true in my life as I've shared.

As I've been meeting with them God has given me some great opportunities to minister to them and to speak into their lives that God loves them, He has plans for them, that they have purpose and are special in the eyes of the Creator. It's been an amazing experience so far and I still have 11 more weeks to go!

God, as you work in my heart to rid me of the things I escape to for value, identity, and instant gratification, I pray that your love would not only transform my life, but the lives of my patients as well. That together we would see that a life fixed on you is full and satisfying--that YOU as our Creator are all that we need and that we would rest in that and walk fully in who you've made us to be.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

I'm clearly bad at this :)

So my ambitions of being a blogger just aren't doing so hot ha. I love to journal and I want to share what's going on in my life and what God is doing in it, but keeping up with this has been too much for me to handle I guess. I have felt like I needed to be embarking on something or beginning something in order to start back up so that I know where to begin. The idea of trying to fill you in on the last several months of my life is OVERWHELMING to me! So instead, I am starting with a clean slate with a beginning. So here it is: my passionate, vulnerable, broken, yet redeemed journey I am taking in this season that God has been calling me to for a while now. 

“Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt. “In that day,” declares the LORD, “you will call me ‘my husband’; you will no longer call me ‘my master.’ Hosea 2:14-16

The Book of Hosea is a prophetic accounting of God’s relentless love for His children. Since the beginning of time God’s ungrateful and undeserving creation has been accepting God’s love, grace, and mercy while still unable to refrain from its wickedness. The last part of Hosea shows how God’s love once again restores His children as He forgets their misdeeds when they turn back to Him with a repentant heart. 

My heart so often turns to other things to satisfy my soul. God's love, grace, and mercy are always before me, and I choose to invest in temporary gratifications. Since I've moved to Grand Rapids, I've had to really reevaluate my identity as I'm no longer in the "limelight" so to speak in any type of ministry or leadership role. To overcome the feelings of missing that season of life, I've turned to things such as Facebook, pinterest, and obsessive home making (seriously, ridiculous ha), to establish an identity for myself outside of what Christ sees in me.

You see, spending hours scanning through my newsfeed, or the pinterest pages, and decorating and redecorating my house have shown to be replacements to find my value, rather than persevering through the wilderness to allow Christ to allure me and reveal my identity to me. 

Too often my relationship with God has become legalistic, where my feelings about how God sees me are based on my performance and how much I've done for Him rather than embracing the grace and salvation I've received.   I want to know the fullness of Christ and that I am full and complete in him alone. I know this will be a life journey, BUT in this season...however long it takes, I want a greater revelation of this. So I'm taking some time off facebook and am only using Pinterest on the weekends since these are my biggest distractions. It's time I respond to the invitation that God has sent me.

Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1