Recently I had a vision of twirling around with Jesus. It was bliss. Lately, I have been blessed to be in a season where I truly feel like I have just simply been enjoying Jesus and allowing myself to receive his affections toward me. Now this may sound "ultra spiritual" and "fluffy" to some, as I hope that there are all different kinds of people who read my blog; but to be completely real with you all, this season has brought me such deep joy, peace, and refreshment and I hope you can one day experience this as well.
For the past year God has been stripping me of my pride and self sufficiency. It was hard. painful. refining. I needed it, I needed it bad. I have loved Jesus since a young age and so I often thought I "had it together."I wanted to just depend on myself and not have to be weak. I wanted to receive the glory and recognition for what GOD alone had done through me as His vessel. But my good deeds were still like filthy rags to him (Isaiah 64:6).
When I picture Isaiah 64:6 for myself, I picture myself in my wedding dress (white, pure, radiant) and doing one of those Trash the Dress sessions and presenting myself in a completely muddy, stained, no longer white, wedding dress. My wedding dress, something that was so pure and lovely to me, was covered in filth. This is how I was before God. When spending time with God I wanted to tell him "but look, I'm wearing white, it's there somewhere." But, it is ONLY through the blood of Jesus that I have been made pure and lovely.
I want to present myself to my King, my Groom in white. I have already done that to my incredible husband, Mike, who daily portrays Christ's love. But I know one day I will be united with The Groom, the One that saved me, the One that calls me His Beloved. My wedding day with Mike took preparation (not just with the logistics and decorations for the day, but with my heart) and my wedding day with Christ takes preparation. As Christ has been sanctifying me throughout my years of following him, especially this past year of being refined, he is preparing me for our wedding day.
I've been listening to a song by Cory Asbury and Allyson Prior called Shine (check it out!) and it gives such beautiful words to what Jesus says to us about the preparation. This song means so much to me as I have seen breakthrough with some areas of sin for the past couple months.
The song says, "You don't have to look on the past and remember your sin, because I have washed it all away. As far as the east is from the west, so have I removed your sin from you. I've thrown it away in the sea of forgetfulness. You don't need to dwell there any longer. You have the victory because I have the victory. I have conquered it."
It has been amazing to be able to move forward in freedom, that I don't need to sit in condemnation but that Christ's blood is enough to wash me. That in my filthy wedding dress, I am made white. The next part of the song talks about preparation for the Wedding Day.
"I've clothed you in garments of white, my Beloved. I'm making you ready. I'm preparing you for that day. It's all about the wedding day, on the day when I return. I can't wait for that day, My Bride. I will claim you as my own. You are going to shine. We are going to spend eternity together."
So this is what it's all about for me.
"There is going to be a wedding. It's the reason that I'm living--to marry the Lamb."
Behold the Lamb, who takes away the sin of the world. John 1:29